this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
