I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
