Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
