I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
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I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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