You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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