I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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