Little spoons don't ask big questions
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We're too hungover to prance.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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