is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
