Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
where are you?
Hypothermia
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
