The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
