when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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