we're blogging at a bar
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
