i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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