are you so shy because you have an std?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I could make wine with my vomit
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
