oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
