I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
