tell your sister to shave her snatch
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
