Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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