i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
