Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
operation harelip BJ is a go
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
