Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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