Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
