take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
