RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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