I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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