I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
