dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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