This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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