Moan for me like Helen Keller
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
false alarm, still single
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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