Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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