We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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