I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
