Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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