apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Randomize
