i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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