i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it's like iHOP with fire
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
