Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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