it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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