As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
