dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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