I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
