wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
