I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
