I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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