The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
