was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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