I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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