are you still at the devil's house?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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