Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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