if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
