and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
