I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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