she woke up with a sticky ear
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I believe in your delicious
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize