You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
