yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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