everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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