apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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