I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
why didn't you poke me back
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Randomize
