Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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