I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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