So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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